Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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