I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
