if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize