we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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