those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
