it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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