you have to choose: penises or morals?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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