I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
