winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
