Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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