It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
