In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Bring me that man meat
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize