My sheets look like a crime scene.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize