This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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