Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize