I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
