I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My vagina just recognized that song.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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