i think i have two assholes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
