saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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