Sry I called you an 8
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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