k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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