is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
