it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
