Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i came on her dog
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
