Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The struggles of a small town man whore
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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