white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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