No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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