So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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