See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
