I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
