Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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