apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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