I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
