He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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