at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
