Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
where are you?
Hypothermia
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
