And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
