You're so nebulous sometimes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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