Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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