party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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