so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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