That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
