do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
