I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
