I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
