if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
A+ Viking dick
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