I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize