Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
