so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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