Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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