I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize