new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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