pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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