I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
