Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
