I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
