Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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