At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
