just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
