sarcasm needs its own font
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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