I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
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