you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so let's talk penis.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
