yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
