There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
