She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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