i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
