Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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