i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
