dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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