My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
