did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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